Trauma is often associated with extreme or life threatening events, but trauma informed research shows that it can also stem from experiences such as emotional neglect, chronic stress, or ongoing relational harm. As trauma researcher Dr. Bessel van der Kolk explains, trauma is not just about what happened to us, it’s about how our nervous system learned to survive it.
Here are three common ways trauma can show up in daily life, even long after the original experience has passed.
1. Feeling “On Edge” or Easily Overwhelmed
Many people with trauma histories notice that their body feels constantly alert. This may look like difficulty relaxing, irritability, or being startled easily. According to polyvagal theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, the nervous system may remain in a state of threat detection long after danger has passed. This isn’t a personal failure, it’s the body doing its best to protect you.
2. Emotional Numbness or Disconnection
While some trauma responses involve heightened emotion, others involve emotional shutdown. You might feel disconnected from your feelings, your body, or even other people. Trauma therapist Dr. Peter Levine, founder of Somatic Experiencing, describes this as a survival response where the body conserves energy when escape or resistance wasn’t possible. Numbness can be a sign of resilience, not weakness.
3. Relationship Patterns That Feel Hard to Change
Trauma can deeply affect how we experience safety in relationships. You may notice difficulty trusting others, fear of closeness, or strong reactions to perceived rejection. Research by Dr. Judith Herman, a pioneer in trauma studies, highlights how relational trauma often impacts attachment and connection. These patterns are learned responses, not character flaws.
A Trauma-Informed Perspective
Trauma informed therapy focuses on safety, choice, collaboration, and empowerment. Rather than asking “What’s wrong with me?”, trauma-informed work invites the question, “What happened to me, and how did my body adapt?”
Healing does not mean erasing the past. It means helping the nervous system learn that the present is safer than before. With support, it’s possible to move from survival toward greater stability, connection, and self-compassion.
If these experiences resonate with you, therapy can offer a space to explore them gently and at your own pace.